Part One : The Art of Resiliency in the Life of Adults

Introduction

What is Resiliency? Why are some individuals able to be more resilient than others? How is resiliency obtained? What is the importance of resiliency in adults? When is it critical or most important to exude resiliency? Who as adults, are able, to exhibit the characteristics of resiliency and live a resilient life?  These are some of the many questions that will be answered in this six- part series on resiliency in adults.

Background

I first stumbled across the term Resiliency during my senior year as an undergraduate student, while obtaining my Bachelor degree in Psychology. I found the concept so fascinating that three of us teamed-up to complete our senior thesis around the topic. The reason I found it to be an exciting concept was because I had been wrestling with a personal situation.  I realized that I was being challenged in my life, at the time, to be resilient; but hadn’t realized it was what I trying to cultivate, until I discovered the term Resiliency during my studies.

To briefly summarize my personal crisis at the time… I was in the process of obtaining a divorce. Domestic violence and infidelity played a primary role in my decision to remove myself and my three children from our marital residence of fifteen years, and end our almost twenty-year marriage. I had been a homemaker and homeschool mom with only a high-school diploma for ten of the years. This meant that I was not employed, had nowhere to go, and was left with virtually zero resources. However, I knew in my heart that I could no longer remain in the situation. So, I ventured out on my own, not an easy decision, but I obtained a tiny apartment, and secured employment. I had stepped into the unknown, and little did I know at the time, the adventure of my life.

Looking back upon this time, which is now a decade ago, I am still in awe of how I ever managed to get through those days. Some days were sheer exhaustion, and I faced constant discouragement. Juggling schedules, course assignments, activities, court systems, and my personal emotions was a constant challenge. It was only through God’s grace, my professors, co-workers, friends, and family members that I could rise above my circumstances and accomplish my goals. Now, these ten years later, my children are grown, healthy, and creating their own lives. I completed a Bachelor and a Master Degree and I am currently working on a second Master of Information. I enjoy my solitude, love learning, traveling, spending time with my family, and absolutely love writing and sharing information with others.  From this very turbulent time in my life and now continuously, Resiliency has become a way of being.

What is Resiliency?

Resiliency is a continuous concept of daily choosing to rise above the hardships, adversity, challenges, and the daily mundane routines to embrace a higher attitude of being. It is often generically defined as; the ability to rise above a difficult and challenging situation. Though there is truth in the definition, I’ve come to learn that the ability to be resilient encompasses so much more.

In the face of challenges, or adversity, and hardships a person can choose to allow the challenge to break you, or shape you. Some individuals know this as a “natural” concept while others struggle daily to live a resilient life. Being strong while “broken” is a characteristic of a resilient person. Eric Greitens, a former Navy Seal and founder of "The Mission Continues" https://www.missioncontinues.org/, says it best in his book titled “Resilience”;  “At the center of your life and all that happens to you is you.”  So, if you want to be strong when faced with challenges, adversity, and hardships it is a trait and characteristic which you can learn, develop, and cultivate in your life. However, it all begins at the center of you. No other person can be resilient for you, create it for you, or give it to you. Others can assist you on your journey, but all the thought, struggle, and implementation must come from within your own self.  Every struggle is unique to the individual, and what is a hardship to one person, could most certainly not be to another.

Resiliency is a series of qualities which a person implements, and cultivates in their life. It is defined by Eric Greitens in his book “Resilience” as the following:

Resiliency is….

§  Responsibility and acceptance of consequences of your actions

§  Key to a well-lived life, a way of being

§  Endurance with direction

§  A virtue

§  A choice

§  An excellence we build

§  Cultivated

Most resilient individuals can embrace the redeeming qualities of the challenges they encounter. All while mourning their loses and patiently enduring their frustrations. They manage to look for and find the silver-lining in the crisis during the worst of circumstances, looking for the good.

It is a Choice

The thoughts we think affect our ability to be resilient during a hardship or while facing adversity. Emotional Intelligence is also a factor and plays a key role in an individual’s ability to maintain and rise above the challenges, these two topics will be discussed in a later blog post.  A person’s positivity is vital to their ability to choose resilient characteristics during a challenge.  The more frequently a person chooses to be resilient, by taking responsibility for their actions and accepting the consequences of the situation, accepting the teachable moments by embracing and cultivating the lesson or life lesson, the more resilient a person becomes. It becomes easier to rise above the next challenge and easier for the next, and so on.

Embracing your crisis for all that it can teach you is the foundation for cultivating, developing, and creating a resilient life style.

 

Coming Soon.....

Part Two: The Art of Resiliency in the Life of Adults: Why are some individuals able to be more resilient than others?

Click on the following link to preview a video by Amy Cuddy. In this video she addresses the topic of body language. However, there is a greater message about resiliency to be learned.